Facing a new set of facts (Or the sucky post of suckitude)

This is going to be a very difficult blog post to write.

Before yesterday's meeting, we had a fair amount of hope that we knew what was wrong and it was quite easily fixable. Seems it was a case of counting the chickens before we'd seen the eggs.

My thyroid count wasn't as high as we thought it might be. The tablets are working as they have been, and my levels are only just above the preferred level. Because the Stupid Doctor had said all was well, the Fertility Doctor wanted to do another blood test to see if the result would be the same. However, he's pretty certain that the thyroid problem is not what's preventing us getting pregnant.

The only other issue was slightly lowered morphology in M.'s sperm test. This could be due to slightly too much caffeine or alcohol about three months before the test, and is so slight, that again, with all the time we've been trying, it can't be counted as what is preventing us getting pregnant.

So, our official diagnosis is unexplained fertility.

I believe that there are a couple of further tests available - increasingly invasive and/or embarrassing tests. I believe they probably won't tell us what we don't already know - my reproductive system is essentially healthy, M. is essentially healthy - but they will take a financial, and more importantly at the moment, an emotional toll that I don't think we can really deal with at the moment.

Which leads us to, what next. Essentially we're looking at IUI or IVF.

And that's a whole new world to get my head around. The doctor was great yesterday, gave us all the information and answered all my many, many questions, but I must admit there was an overwhelming feeling of having lost something yesterday. A feeling that persisted through the afternoon and resulted in quite a lot of tears last night.

We've talked about it, a little. We've read up on it a little. We think we've made our decision. But we're not going to make anything final until tomorrow. Then we'll get the ball rolling on a whole new approach to getting pregnant.

Photo from flickr